In 1967, Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe developed The Social Readjustment Scale to measure the impact of stress related events on one’s health. On their top ten list of most stressful events, both the loss of a spouse and the loss of a close family member rank as two of the most stressful events in our lives.
Losing a spouse can be an incredibly challenging and overwhelming experience. Different individuals will have varying stressors and coping mechanisms, but here are ten common stresses that people often face when their spouse dies:
- Grief and Bereavement: The loss of a spouse often results in intense grief and sadness. The grieving process can be emotionally taxing and vary in duration from person to person.
- Loneliness: The absence of a life partner can lead to a profound sense of loneliness and isolation, especially if the spouse was one’s primary source of companionship.
- Financial Concerns: The death of a spouse can impact the household’s financial stability. There may be worries about income, debts, insurance, and estate planning.
- Household Responsibilities: Managing household chores and responsibilities alone can be overwhelming. Tasks that were once shared may now fall solely on the surviving spouse.
- Emotional Support: Losing a spouse often means losing a significant source of emotional support. Coping with emotions and seeking help can be challenging without a partner.
- Parenting Alone: If children are involved, the surviving spouse may face the stress of single parenting, including making important decisions and providing emotional support to the children.
- Identity Crisis: The loss of a spouse can lead to an identity crisis as individuals may have defined themselves largely in relation to their partner. They may struggle with questions of who they are without their spouse.
- Social Isolation: Some individuals may find it challenging to engage with social activities and friends after their spouse’s death, leading to social isolation.
- Health and Well-Being: The stress and grief associated with the loss of a spouse can impact one’s physical and mental health. Managing health during this time can be difficult.
- Legal and Administrative Tasks: Dealing with legal matters such as wills, probate, and estate settlements can be complex and stressful.
Maybe it sounds self-centered or egotistical, but I know when I pass, my spouse, my family, my friends; they will miss me, they will be sad. And so, whatever I can do now to help ease that burden, that’s easy and frankly fulfilling, and while I can’t necessarily relieve everything on this list, I can help alleviate the stresses around finances, and legal and administrative tasks. It is my last chance to show them how much I care and love them.